Parshat Vayigash

Our Parsha this Shabbos is 'VaYigash,' which means 'Then/And he Approached,' and is when Yehudah approached Yosef to defend Binyamin.
The Parsha starts with a 'Ve'. Which shows that what was before is linking to what is about to be mentioned next.Just before,Yehudah was told,to go up in peace to Yaakov their Father,when Yosef had said that only Binyamin must stay.And then Yehudah approaches.So something in these words made Yehudah take action.Yehudah knew that he could have been the one to have saved Yosef all these years ago,but instead knew,he was the one who went to his Father and brought to his Father the coat of Yosef stained with blood, asking his Father to identify it,knowing how this would hurt his Father.He was punished when he lost his own 2 sons and Tamar coming to him with similar words when he accused her of having become pregnant.He knew that this action to his Father,had taken away his Father's peace and he never forgave himself for his sin.Now,that he was faced with having to go up to his Father and tell his Father that another precious son, Binyamin would now taken,he just could not handle that.So he courageously 'Approached' Yosef.
When we have done something wrong,the action sits with us and remains with us until we make it truly right.Only when we are truly ready to make it right then we can be truly sorry and repent for it.Then and only then are we able to have a clearer conscience and 'Approach' HaShem for forgiveness.If we leave it and ignore what we did,the very entity of wrong that we create,sits with us and reminds us repeatedly at different moments in our lives,of what we did.
Within the word 'VaYigash,' is the word ''Gisha,' which means 'approach or access.'This shows that to approach and be forgiven we need to have access to approach.What does this mean?
This means that if we wrong HaShem or we want to approach HaShem for something ,we first need to look at ourselves and see what HaShem has asked us to do and ,if we are not doing it,to ensure that we work on ourselves to do what HaShem has asked us to do ,for our own benefit,so then we can be deserving of HaShem's attention to listening to us.Then we will have a more open access to being heard.
Sometimes,things happen in life to cause us to sit up and take notice and come to HaShem.HaShem has many ways of calling us.Sometimes those ways can be subtle and other times those ways can be very obvious.Either way,we need to respond with giving of ourselves to HaShem's Will and not just our own will and ways of wanting to be.What HaShem needs us to do for Him,is for our own benefit.That is the beauty of HaShem.
HaShem is there all the time to listen.It is for us to 'Vayigash,' - 'Approach,' HaShem .We need to take the initiative as Avram did when Avram came to HaShem early in life and HaShem added a part of Himself to Avraham.In Gematriah,Avram's Name comes to 243.243 is 2+4+3='9'. 'The word 'VaYigash in Gematriah comes to 319 and when we add the word 'Eili' (Gematriah value of 41) so as to make the words 'Vayigash Eili,'-'Approahed My G-D,' we get 319,+41,which totals 360.3+6+0='9'- The same value as Avram's name ,who approached HaShem,on his own.
So when we approach HaShem in truth ,we must forget ourselves and our own needs and wants and do what HaShem has Commanded us to do.When we do this,HaShem will live within us as HaShem did,with Avraham, when HaShem added a part of Hinself to Avraham's Name ,when HaShem added a 'Hei,' to Avram's name.Avraham's name in Gematriah comes to 248 which is the same nunber of Positive Commandments in the Torah,showing us also that when we approach HaShem,we are to approach HaShem ,doing what we are Commanded to do as His Creation.
HaShem is there to listen.We just need to learn to speak and go in HaShem's Way and not ours.
HaShem desires us to approach Him and HaShem desires us to be close to Him.Just reach out your soul and HaShem will be there.Let us spend the rest of our days,reaching out to HaShem,approaching HaShem the Way HaShem(Who knows best). Tells us to do.Every second HaShem gives us ,is for approaching HaShem.Let us use our lives wisely,not just for ourselves,but for HaShem and all HaShem Creates.
I wish HaShem with love a beautiful Shabbos Kodesh with love and to all,a beautiful Shabbos Kodesh with love.